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Same-Sex Divorce
Rosemary • July 1, 2015
The good news from the Supreme Court regarding the recognition of same-sex marriages in all fifty states has meant different things to different people. For couples who had married in other states, and subsequently moved to Tennessee, that may have resulted in being trapped in a dead marriage and unable to get divorced. Life in general, jobs, and other obligations made it impractical, if not impossible, to move to another state and establish required residency in order to get a much needed divorce.
Just a few months ago, I had a call from a psychotherapist who asked if my Second Saturday divorce workshops were appropriate for someone in a same-sex marriage. Of course, my answer was a resounding "Yes," although I had to add that I had no idea how she would get the necessary divorce in the state of Tennessee. Today, the answer would be ,"Yes, and the information from the workshop will help her make better decisions regarding the divorce process and desired outcomes."
If you know of someone who has been in a seemingly hopeless situation and ready for a long-overdue divorce, please have them visit call the number at the left for more information on the financial issues of divorce, and help as needed.
The conversation regarding which parent should claim the children as dependents has changed dramatically since the recent tax reform, effective January 2018, eliminated the personal exemption. Yes, that $4,050 (in 2017) tax exemption per child is gone. Parents will not even get that exemption for themselves. This is causing extensive confusion among attorneys and clients alike. The Parenting Plan template has not been revised to reflect this and still contains an entire section dedicated to which parent will claim the exemptions. The new answer to that is Neither one. However, other tax benefits related to child dependents have gained new importance and must be taken into consideration when negotiating which parent claims the children as dependents. The overall goal is to maximize tax benefits between the parents and minimize combined taxes paid and the financial needs of either parent. The primary residential parent will be able to file as Head of Household and take advantage of th...
The most significant tax reform in thirty years was signed into law December 22. With barely a week to understand how it impacts all open and future divorce cases, it became effective January 1, 2018, unless otherwise noted. Many of the provisions have sunset dates, upon which rules will revert to pre 2018, unless extended.Alimony, beginning January 1, 2019, will not be tax deductible for payer, nor taxable to the recipient. Modified orders, after that same effective date, will adhere to the previous tax deductible/taxable treatment in the original orders, unless it is specified in the modification orders that the new not deductible/not taxable treatment will apply. Although the effectiveness of this dramatic change has been delayed for a full year, we will need to pay attention to it immediately for any active cases that are not expected to conclude before December 31, 2018.Tax Brackets have been adjusted more than normal annual inflation adjustments. Some for the better, others not s...
Content of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) was revealed last week and, as it now stands, alimony discussions will change dramatically. If approved in its current state, on this issue, going forward as of January 1, 2018, no alimony will be tax deductible for the payer, nor taxable to the recipient. This includes all alimony modifications made after January 1. All standing alimony orders will retain their current tax status for payer and recipient.The TCJA is the most sweeping tax reform proposed in over thirty years and will impact a number of other areas that are relevant to divorce. I will be reporting on them after the changes are approved and finalized. In the meantime, however, the alimony issue is major and may impact how cases are handled and/or settled during the coming weeks. Every effort is being made to pass this legislation within the next thirty days. It remains to be seen how much it will be altered in the interim, but suffice it to say that we need to be paying attentio...
I am often asked for attorney referrals by potential clients embarking on the divorce process. My usual response is that I am better able to make referrals after meeting with you, understanding something about your situation, what you prefer in the way an attorney will represent you, and getting to know you is a limited way. Even after all that, I will provide at least three names of attorneys for you to interview, assess and make your own best decision.An attorney is not a commodity. This is a person with whom you must feel comfortable and about whom you must feel confident. You will need to have some of the most personal conversations of your life with this person and subsequently trust them to literally represent your best interests in a way that you wish to be represented. An unreasonably pugnacious attorney will make you seem unreasonable and pugnacious. Is that really how you want to appear to a judge? Even if you do not go to full trial, there will be brief court hearings during...
You have decided this divorce needs to happen. Now what do you do? Prepare yourself. The following are some steps to take before you pull the trigger and set things in motion.Take care of deferred needs like dental work, new eye glasses, replace the tires, fix the roof, etc. Money is going to get tight, real soon, so better to know these things are taken care of.On the other hand, you will need to save some cash for the expenses of the divorce process: hiring professionals like a financial advisor, attorney, and therapist to help you get through this painful and complex process; possible moving expenses; replacing household furnishings, etc.Copy all financial documents of any kind that you can access safely. Put copies in a secure place, preferably under lock and key, maybe at work or with a friend. This includes bank statements, credit card statements, credit reports, retirement accounts, pensions, investment accounts, tax returns and all accompanying documents required to prepare th...
What assistance can you expect from your current financial planner or advisor during your divorce? The short answer is "None." Your divorce presents a clear ethical dilemma and/or conflict of interest for your current financial professional. They must simply "sit it out," wait for the divorce to be finalized, then resume services, if you wish them to do so. Whether they realize this, or acknowledge as much, is up to them. However, this message is to help you make more informed decisions regarding whose advice you seek during divorce.The best thing you can do for yourself is to hire an objective Divorce Financial Planner, who is a licensed financial and investment professional, as well as a divorce specialist. Verify their credentials: check their public record on BrokerCheck.FINRA.org and/or AdviserInfo.SEC.gov websites; confirm their divorce financial qualifications. As an investment professional, your Divorce Financial Planner will be familiar with the characteristics and nuances...
It is insidious, cloaked in false "protectiveness," a form of bullying, and a precursor to domestic violence. It leaves no bruises, but it hurts, really hurts. It will erode one's self esteem, enslave them to the one who is supposed to love them, and destroy the victim's spirit, sense of self worth, the very essence of their individuality. It makes them hopeless and helpless so that they never leave.Financial abuse is more readily recognized in the mental health community as it relates to elder abuse, rather than spousal abuse. Elder financial abuse is usually about theft. Spousal financial abuse is about control and domination. Control of the money translates to control of the relationship and the other person, in every way. Financial abuse, according to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, is reported to be present in 98% of all domestic violence situations. In the vast majority of situations, women are the victims of the abuse. These comments will be framed accordingly.I o...
Since divorce will force you to make the largest financial decisions of your entire life, so far anyway, it is probably a good time to examine your relationship with money. Do you like it? Really? Then why don't you have more of it? These are meaningful questions because, like marriage and divorce, money is something that is highly emotional.Our relationships with money date back to early childhood and initial experiences with money, be they positive or negative. Think about how money was regarded in your family of origin and how that has impacted you to this day. Maybe money was a taboo topic, maybe it was something there never seemed to be enough of, maybe it seemed to cause all the other problems in your family, maybe there was plenty of it but still caused all the problems in your household.Let's go back to my original question: "Do you like money?" The likely answer something like, "Of course, everyone likes money!" Then why, when you get some, do you immediately think of what you...
Maybe. Divorce is a time of great distrust between spouses. Such distrust is most likely at the root of the many possible reasons for the divorce. If money seems to be disappearing, either during the marriage or since the initiation of the divorce, it is possible that there is spending that qualifies as dissipation.Simply put, dissipation is the spending of marital funds, or use of any marital asset, for some purpose that does not benefit the marriage. Dissipation is money that is leaving the marital estate, thereby reducing what remains to be divided in the settlement of the marital estate. Examples may include gambling, alcohol, illegal drugs, expenditures on any activity related to a paramour, and unusual or excessive purchases not characteristic during the marriage, by one spouse.Dissipation is one of those things that the offended spouse knows is happening, but providing evidence of same could become a challenge. Extensive forensic analysis of household finances may be required to...
In addition to your marriage being an emotional relationship, it has also been a financial partnership. Now that you are divorcing, be sure you get a financial divorce as well. To complete the process, all three credit reporting agencies must reflect your new individual financial status.Early in the divorce process, pull up to date credit reports from each of the three credit reporting agencies: Equifax, Experian, and Transunion. All three are necessary because they likely will have differences in their reported content and you want to be sure to cover everything. It would not serve you well to have two accurate credit reports and encounter a prospective lender in the future who depends upon the third for their determinations of your credit worthiness.Your purpose should be two fold, identify those accounts that need to be "divorced" and assure that you will have at least two individual credit cards, of your own, post divorce. You may have developed habits during the marriage of thinki...